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题目：Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general
population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrying trend.
通过代词this的使用使得“现象”与大众对现象的看法产生了衔接，清晰简洁，不留痕迹做到了评分准则中的“uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention”
One possible solution is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more
lifestyle.
通过 “one possible”写出了后文还会提到提到其他的解决方案，从而体现了后文在分段和内容上与总观点的对应，即评分准则中的”skilfully manages paragraphing“
Advocates of this believe that today’s sedentary lifestyle and stressful working
通过this的使用把主体段与“首段”紧密联系起来
conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our
leisure time. If there were easy-to-reach local sports centres, we would be more
通过对于关键词的修饰进一步论证了论点中涉及的关键重心内容，体现了内容的深化，论据与观点的衔接(即增多“sports facilities”的第一个原因：需要让大众更方便做运动)
likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would
作用同上“通过对于关键词的修饰进一步论证了论点中涉及的关键...