小伙伴们一起来看看留学群英语栏目的小编为大家带来的“BEC写作解析：这封邮件有何不妥”吧~希望对大家有所帮助哦!
首先看一看这篇邮件请找出其中的问题，然后试着改一改呢~
From: [email protected]
Date: 25:7:1-16:06:29
Subject: REMINDER!!!
John
Appreciate if you would consider and bear in mind that I am no longer responsible for dealing with petty cash. Some of your staff keep bringing their vouchers to me, but this responsibility has been taken over by Martin in Accounts, he is the one who should be contacted henceforth for all petty cash matters.
Your cooperation is appreciated in making sure all your staffs know about this.
BRgs/Sally
下面，试着指出其中的问题~
Subject: REMINDER[a1] !!!
John
Appreciate [a2] if you would consider and bear in mind[a3] that I am no longer responsible[a4] for dealing withpetty[a5] cash. Some ofyour staff[a6] keep bringing their vouchers to me, but this responsibility has been taken over by Martin in Accounts, [a7] he is the one who should be contacted henceforth [a8] for all petty cash matters.
Your [a9] cooperation is appreciated in making sure all your staffs [a10] know about this.
BRgs[a11] /Sally
[a1]这里记得遵循SMART原则。
[a2]措辞唐突生硬，有种趾高气扬的嚣张气焰...这篇信函是ask for cooperation，所以语气更应诚恳和气。同时应该加上明确的主语。
[a3]虽然用的是would，但其实与“你必须记住!”无异。 [a4]这里也比较无礼。
[a5]猜测写信人有可能是升值或者换岗位了，所以不负责现金兑换的事宜。但是语气很高傲…蔑视了之前的这份工作。
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