英语笑话带翻译

　　下面是留学群小编为大家带来的英语幽默故事：《为母亲约会》，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~

　　Dating for mother

　　为母亲约会

　　When the young waitress in the cafe in my building started waving hello every day，I was flattered. She was at least 15 years younger than I.

　　在我工作的大楼里有间咖啡馆，那儿的女招待每天见到我都向我打招呼。我因此受宠若惊。要知道她至少要比我小15岁。

　　One day she waved and beckoned to me. When I strolled over，she asked，"Are you single?"

　　有一天，她见到我后，朝我招手示意让我过去。于是，我便走了过去。她问我，“你现在是单身吗?”

　　Why，yes,"I replied，smiling at her broadly.

　　“对，是单身。”我满脸堆笑地说。

　　" So is my mom，”she said.”Would you like to meet her?"

　　“我母亲也是，”她说:“你愿意不愿意见见她。”

　　更多英语幽默故事阅读敬请关注留学群英语资源栏目!

　　英语资源栏目推荐阅读：

　　英语小笑话：《正中下怀》

　　英语幽默小故事之谁是主宰

　　英语捧腹笑话之病人和他的丈夫

　　下面是留学群小编为大家带来的英语小笑话：《正中下怀》，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~

　　0n purpose

　　正中下怀!

　　Whenever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour, it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car，and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing. Expecting him to drop the deal，I was surprised by his reply.

　　每当我开车的速度超过55英里时，我那辆旧车就开始剧烈地抖动，所以我决定把它卖掉。当第一位买主来看车时，我犹豫该不该告诉他这车的毛病。最后，我还是决定说实话。我

　　原以为这下这笔买卖就完了，可是，他的回答却使我吃了一惊。

　　"That's okay，”he said.”I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration，I' 11 know she is driving too fast."

　　“这没什么关来，”他说:“我是在替女儿买车。如果她一旦艳怨车子扦动的事，我就会知道她一定开了快车。”

　　更多英语幽默故事阅读敬请关注留学群英语资源栏目!

　　英语资源栏目推荐阅读：

　　英文幽默短篇之侦探狗

　　英文小幽默之沙丁鱼的抱怨

　　英语捧腹笑话之病人和他的丈夫

　　下面是留学群小编为大家带来的英语幽默故事：《病人和他的丈夫》，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~

　　Patient and his doctor

　　病人和他的大夫

　　A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”

　　一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如果你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。”

　　The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.

　　这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。

　　The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"

　　“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”

　　"Yes，do you need a partner ?"

　　“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”

　　更多英语幽默故事阅读敬请关注留学群英语资源栏目!

　　英语资源栏目推荐阅读：

　　英文幽默短篇之侦探狗

　　下面是留学群小编为大家带来的英语幽默故事：《沙丁鱼的抱怨》，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~

　　Sardines' complaint

　　沙丁鱼的抱怨

　　Two sardines were swimming in New York harbor when one suggested they go up to the Bronx for the weekend.”I'd rather not，"the other objected. "It's such a long swim."

　　两条沙丁鱼在纽约港游水，其中的一条建议到布朗恩斯(Bronx)去度周末。另一条沙丁鱼反对说:“我认为最好不去。要游的距离太长了。”

　　"How about taking the subway?'his companion asked.

　　“那么从地铁通道过去怎么样?”他的同伴问。

　　"No way!"replied the second sardine."And be packed in there like people?"

　　“不可能，”第二条沙丁鱼说:“难选要像人类那样到地铁里去乱挤吗?”

　　更多英语幽默故事阅读敬请关注留学群英语资源栏目!

　　英语资源栏目推荐阅读：

　　英文幽默小短篇

　　英文幽默短篇之侦探狗

　　英语笑话：《生日来临之际》

　　下面是留学群小编为大家带来的英语幽默故事：《侦探狗》，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~

　　Undercover dog

　　侦探狗

　　As I waited for my luggage at Atlanta's international airport，I noticed a government agent with a dog sniffing for illegal drugs among the crowd of arriving passengers. A woman next to me also saw the animal at work and noted That it was of mixed breed with long shaggy fur.“I thought those police dogs were supposed to be German shepherds，"she said.

　　在亚特兰大国际机场等行李时，我注意到一名政府官员带着一条狗。那条狗对所有到来的旅客的物品嗅来嗅去，以防止毒品入境。站在我旁边的妇女也注意到了这条在工作的狗是一条长毛的杂种狗.她说:“我觉得那条警犬可能是条德国的牧羊狗。”

　　Overhearing her comment，the agent replied,“He is， but he's working undercover.”

　　那名政府官员听到了这句话，回答说:“它确实是牧羊狗，但是它在做侦探工作.”

　　更多英语幽默故事阅读敬请关注留学群英语资源栏目!

　　英语资源栏目推荐阅读：

　　英语笑话：The Use of a Handsaw 手锯的使用

　　英语笑话：I want a nightmare我想做噩梦

　　英语笑话带翻译：我干得怎么样 How did I do

　　英语笑话带翻译：Who Was the First Man 谁是世界上第一个男人

　　下面是留学群小编为大家带来的英语幽默故事：《生日来临之际》，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~

　　As the years turn

　　生日来临之际

　　For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.)When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "

　　我奶奶过82岁的生日时，我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的生日贺卡。(根据规定，80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。)当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时，她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家，再也没有隐私了，他们就连你的生日都追踪着。”

　　更多英语幽默故事阅读敬请关注留学群英语资源栏目!

　　推荐阅读：

　　英语笑话：The Use of a Handsaw 手锯的使用

　　英语笑话：I want a nightmare我想做噩梦

　　英语笑话带翻译：我干得怎么样 How did I do

　　英语笑话带翻译：Who Was the First Man 谁是世界上第一个男人

　　下面是留学群小编为大家带来的英语幽默小故事10则，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~

　　Midway Tactics

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中间战术

　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

　　右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

　　左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

　　中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

　　Very Pleased to Meet You

　　During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

　　One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

　　Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

　　Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

　　"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients her...

　　下面是留学群为大家带来的英语笑话(带翻译)：会弹钢琴的狗，欢迎阅读。

　　原文：

　　A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"

　　The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"

　　The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink onthe house!"

　　So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.

　　Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.

　　Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.

　　The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

　　The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."

　　中文翻译：

　　一个人带着他的狗走进一家酒吧。

　　酒吧服务生对他说，“这里不能带狗进来，请离开吧!”

　　那个人对服务生说，“这可不是一般的狗，它可是会弹钢琴的!”

　　服务生回答说，“呃，如果它真的能弹钢琴，你们可以免费在这喝上一杯!”

　　那个人把狗放到了弹钢琴坐的凳子上面，狗就开始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音乐、接着弹莫扎特还有其它的… …服务生和顾客们都非常欣赏它的弹奏。

　　突然，一只体型更大的狗跑了进来，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。

　　酒吧服务生问那个人，“那是怎么回事?”

　　那人回答，“噢，那是它妈妈。她不想它儿子玩音乐，而是做一名医生。”

　　推荐阅读：

　　英语笑话：The Use of a Handsaw 手锯的使用