下面是留学群整理的伍迪艾伦经典语录，欢迎参考。
关于性爱
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
我的感情生活非常糟糕，我最后一次进入一个女人的身体是参观自由女神像。
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.
我和我的老婆唯一一次同时获得高潮，是在法官签署离婚文件时。
The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody’s going to make fun of you.
性和死亡的区别在于，死亡你可以独立完成，而且没有人会取笑你。
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
做爱就像是玩桥牌。如果你的搭档不怎么样，你最好还是依靠自己的双手吧。
On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
玩双性恋可以立刻让你周六晚的约会机会翻倍。
Don’t knock masturbation; it’s sex with someone I love.
不要诋毁撸;撸是我与自己的真爱之间发生的关系。
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
性减轻压力，爱情则相反。
Love is the answer. But while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
爱是答案。可是当你在等答案的时候，性会提出几个很好的问题。
伍迪艾伦的哲学
Can we actually ‘know’ the universe? My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.
我们能够确切的了解宇宙吗?我的天呐，能在唐人街不迷路就够不易的了。
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind...